Documentaries and Remembering

Today, I watched a documentary that I got from the library about the Dutch resistance during WWII and found myself thinking about the people that I've lost over the past few years as I reflected on how one event can truly change people's lives.

During my freshman year of college, a friend of mine was killed the day after I came home from Spring Break. Her name was Nicole and we'd been friends since 6th grade. We were pretty different, but at the same time I always knew I could count on her to watch my back. She was 18 years old.

Next was my "grande frere" (big brother) Steve. He was killed in December, the week before Christmas by a drunk driver. Steve loved life and tried to treat everyone well. He loved Mitch and Col like nothing on this earth. He owned his own music store and whenever I listen to music, I remember Steve.
An incident happened and I lost all of my U2 cds...so Steve bought every single CD U2 had put out, along with their new DVD just for me. I'd never had anybody do something like that for me before and I wondered why he'd just drop all that money on me.
I miss talking to him so much...he was a great listener and I could tell him anything without him passing any kind of judgment on me.

Col died in February, and I have to admit that my emotions shut down for a little while. I really haven't been able to write any songs or poems since her passing. Since I couldn't be there, Dad asked me to write the eulogy... but how do you encapsulate a life into words? How do you tell people everything that someone meant to you? I gave it my best shot though.
Some of her family don't like me and one of her aunts even went so far as to say that I didn't care about her.
Just because those people are not with me in the bitter watches of the night when I've cried and wondered why my sister and brother were taken from me does NOT mean that I don't care about her. I keep my emotions to myself for the most part and then I might write about it.

It was her fondest wish that I go back to school and today, I registered for two classes, one for the summer term and one for the fall term (I may add another class to the fall term). She always told me that one day, I'd be able to go back and for me, this is do or die. This is my last chance to start making something of myself and even if I don't want to do it for myself...I'll do it for her. That's one thing that I can still do here.